Jasen Bruce’s discourse on The Safe Way to Increase Testosterone
No American Hero™ like Marine Reservist Lance Cpl. Jasen Bruce could ever be mistaken when it comes to spotting one of them there EVIL Middle Eastern Terrorist types™. Right? Of course not. And if – mind you, IF Lance Cpl. Bruce did mistake an innocent, Greek Orthodox priest (Rev. Alexios Marakis – a terrorist name if there ever was one) who was simply lost in the Tampa ‘burbs and a little short on English comprehension for Osama Bin Laden incarnate in front of him, it would still be perfectly understandable if Lance Cpl. Bruce gave the man an ass-beating. MOST especially if said Osama Bin Laden doppelganger further amped up the terror quotient with an attempted crotch-grabbing or three. I’ve heard from various sources that crotch-grabbing is a new wrinkle in the Al Qaeda playbook, a friendly-seeming feint. If you can’t beat those robust American Heroes™ , you can at least give them a hernia check-up.
Jeff Brown, Lance Cpl. Bruce’s attorney, is convinced that Rev. Marakis followed Cpl. Bruce into the parking garage of an apartment complex in Tampa around half-past 6 on Monday and subsequently made lewd comments and even attempted to grab Bruce’s crotch. Speaking to the Associated Press, Attorney Brown said that the Tampa PD’s narrative of events is “tainted.” Brown also said that he and Bruce were confident that surveillance videos and a transcript of Lance Cpl. Bruce’s call to 911 would “conclusively show” that Jasen Bruce was “the victim in this case.”
The “tainted” account from Tampa authorities is basically this: a lost Rev. Marakis followed Bruce into the garage asking for help. For his trouble, say police, Marakis received a genuine American beat-down™ with a tire iron before Lance Cpl. Bruce chased him for several blocks. Bruce later told cops that Marakis was a “terrorist” who shouted “Allahu akbar!” – “God is great” during their ill-fated encounter (Bruce added, according to the AP, “That’s what they say before they blow you up”).
In Marakis’s defense, crotch-related activities can frequently lead to people invoking a Deity or three.
Tampa Police also indicated that Bruce didn’t reference any sexy things in his initial call to 911. He saved that nugget – along with a few others – till the cops were on-scene. Bruce allegedly also accused Marakis of attempted robbery in addition to forcible hernia checks or sex or something.
Ahmad Bedier, president of the Tampa Human Rights Council, gave a much more succinct and direct account of events from Marakis’s point of view: “Before he could even say anything, [Bruce] grabbed the iron rod and hit him twice on the right and twice on the left.”
Lance Cpl. Bruce was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. He is out on bond.
If there is just an outside chance that True American and Patriotic Crotch Defender Lance Cpl. Bruce was mistaken in his interaction with Rev. Alexios Marakis, a chance that he perhaps overreacted in an extremely aggressive manner to a swarthy foreigner he could not understand, it surely didn’t have anything to do with racism or – let’s throw a dart here – ‘roid rage.
The link will take you to a post in a Yahoo Group of a message from Jasen Bruce, who works with APS Pharmacy in Florida – coincidentally, the same pharmacy named in a Jasen Bruce LinkedIn profile here. And on Bruce’s arrest record page with the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office. APS Pharmacy Jasen Bruce has some opinions on steroids, in particular a fairly controversial substance known as nandrolone – he appears to believe these things are sorely mistunderstood:
My name is Jasen Bruce and I work with APS Pharmacy in Florida. Your concerns regarding nandrolone is something shared by many of us, and it only makes me more angry at our messed up pharmaceutical industry and health system that they would pull a drug like nandrolone over profits and politics, not considering the many people it helps treat effectively. Ok…enough ranting : )
APS is a specialty pharmacy which compounds FDA approved medications which are no longer manufactured, such as Nandrolone. We typically compound nandrolone in 200mg/ml 10cc vials, but the great thing about our type of pharmacy is that we can make it in any strength you like and even use different oils to suspend it in, such as grape seed oil. We do have many patients who combine there testosterone and nandrolone into one vial (Nandro Test), possibly for convenience.
Typically we sell a 10cc 200mg vial for $73.00, but we are willing to work with you based on your budget.
As a side note, we also can be considered a full-service pharmacy as we do carry every thing (brand and generic) any retail pharmacy would carry, but usually at much lower costs.
You are welcome to contact me anytime at the pharmacy: 727-547-2654. Or you may email me too.
Jasen Bruce [Scribd copy of the post here]
Nandralone is a Schedule III anabolic steroid. Steroids can have multiple adverse side effects, which may include:
- Elevated pressure in the eyes (glaucoma)
- Fluid retention, causing swelling in your lower legs
- Increased blood pressure
- Mood swings
- Weight gain, with fat deposits in your abdomen, face and the back of your neck
Just because Lance Cpl. Jasen Bruce – that’s him on the right – was allegedly ready to sell someone nandralone, even helpfully working within the buyer’s budgetary constraints, does not in any way mean he himself is a user and therefore prone to elevated pressure in the eyes, weight gain in the face or mood swings. Indeed, the demands of keeping fit and ready for Marine Reserve duty as well as defending the Homeland from hernia-obsessed inguinal-alert terrorists are probably even more intense than they are for other military reservists. In fact, Bruce authored an article (published on a MySpace profile that magically vanished between the initial draft of this post and its final publication, but can still be seen here) in 2007 titled, “Human Chorionic Gonadotropin Hormone (HCG): The Safe Way To Increase Testosterone.”
Clearly, Lance Cpl. Bruce’s HCG article demonstrates he was only interested in enhancing “libido, mood regulation and feelings of well-being,” and “increased muscle tissue, high bone density, and the prevention of unwanted body fat” in a safe, sane manner.
Jasen Bruce, it seems clear, is – as his attorney seems to believe – a misunderstood American Hero under the thumb of a Marine-hating, terrorist-loving Tampa Police Department. His biggest concern, above enhancing his libido or preventing unwanted body fat, beyond selling some good old juicy, harmless nandralone, is with saving this country we all love from the predations of foreign invaders bent only on fondling the massive American gonads of a godly Marine in a remote parking lot. It is also clear why, when reached by the AP for comment, “Rev.” Alexios Marakis only claimed to speak no English – he only knows the language of love and ball-checks. And now, perhaps, the robust American lingo of the tire-iron.